Tuesday, June 29, 2010
The Anxiety is Killing Me
So I just woke up at this ungodly hour in the morning (6:15), and I checked my email as I normally do after waking up when I'm still kinda out of it. I had 14 emails...FOURTEEN. And every single one of them were from people in my region saying they had received their arrêtés (contracts). I am both excited and extremely anxious now. I think my heart might explode and my brain implode if I don't receive this stuff soon. I have made a grave mistake and I have fully booked myself up in the month of July. I am busy every weekend and I won't be here for my birthday and I don't even know when I'll have time to celebrate with my friends. Not that I need to, but it's one time of the year I get to surround myself with all my dearest friends and just be ecstatically happy to see them all. With going to Las Vegas/Los Angeles I'll be gone two weekends in July and the following two weekends are Lauren's bachelorette party and her wedding. Not to mention that the day after I get back in town from L.A. I'll be heading up to LPB to do an interview about the scholarship I got and about our expectations about going to France. I am feeling the stress and pressure of it all. And worrying about when I'll get my paperwork is suffocating. I know I just need to relax, but sometimes that's really hard. I'm over extending myself, but I just need to breathe. I could use a massage...but maybe another day. Okay...time to get ready for work now. Another busy and exciting day is ahead of me. Chin up. Mind right. Focus and determination. And relax. Maybe I can get through my day, and the following month, now.
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