It is 1:04 a.m. and here I am, blogging. I am pretty wound up right now. I have been searching and googling and planning and preparing for my trip, but I think I might just have a panic attack. My whole game plan this entire time was to just take everything one step at a time, and now I think I need to rethink that strategy. It has just recently dawned on me that I might not have enough time to accomplish everything I need to get accomplished before I leave. There are still so many loose ends I need to tie up, and it's getting closer and closer to my departure date. This week already got booked up, next weekend I'll be in Houston, and the weekend after is my last weekend here in Louisiana. It's all starting to hit me, and hard. Not only do I need to finish my pre-departure shopping, I also need to find time to see all of my friends, research where to stay and how to get around once I'm there, prepare my paperwork, go to a couple more doctor's appointments, and then there's that whole mess about getting all of my shit together for everything that needs to be done after I get there. Oh yeah, and there's that tiny thing called housing that I have no idea about.
I am seriously starting to freak. I know everything will get done, but it's really sinking in that once I get there, I'm on my own. Of course the first week and a half will be awesome. Hayley and I will be traveling together, so neither of us will have to feel alone. From New Orleans to D.C. to Copenhagen to Brussels to Valenciennes to Vernon to Sables d'Olonne, but then I leave Hayley and all of that comfort and go back to Valenciennes alone. Hopefully I'll meet some people upon arriving there and make new friends, but the thought of being alone in a strange city is kinda making my chest hurt. I guess what it boils down to is that I'm starting to lose my tough gal exterior and realize that I'm terrified of what's on the other side of this adventure. I've been waiting for this for so long. I can't just let a littel fear and anxiety and possible panic attacks and chest pains stop me now! I must endure. So I plan on trying to wind down, relax, get some sleep, and wake up in the morning with the ferocity to attack these issues head on.
No comments:
Post a Comment